Lat9, Can I just say, Thank You, Thank you!! I implemented that on one of my products and went from
Parse Time: 8.386 - Number of Queries: 1665 - Query Time: 7.37952516934
Parse Time: 0.671 - Number of Queries: 178 - Query Time: 0.194840832687
Amazing! I hope others who are in similar situations find this thread. I talked with "experts" in Seattle, Van Couver, Penn, Va, and switched hosts 2 times and this is the solution!
Thanks everyone for your help. Moving on!