
I knew if I bashed around enough, I'd figure this out. It wasn't graceful, but I finally got there. I'm memorializing it here so when I want to do it again, I can find the solution. 
includes/templates/future_zen/sideboxes/tpl_whats_new.php
Change
Code:
$content .= '<a href="' . zen_href_link(zen_get_info_page($random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields['products_id']), 'cPath=' . zen_get_generated_category_path_rev($random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields['master_categories_id']) . '&products_id=' . $random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields['products_id']) . '">' . zen_image(DIR_WS_IMAGES . $random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields['products_image'], $random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields['products_name'], SMALL_IMAGE_WIDTH, SMALL_IMAGE_HEIGHT);
to
Code:
$content .= '<a href="' . zen_href_link(zen_get_info_page($random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields['products_id']), 'cPath=' . zen_get_generated_category_path_rev($random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields['master_categories_id']) . '&products_id=' . $random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields['products_id']) . '">' . zen_image(DIR_WS_IMAGES . $random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields['products_image'], $random_whats_new_sidebox_product->fields[' '], SMALL_IMAGE_WIDTH, SMALL_IMAGE_HEIGHT);
DUH!