Customer Yelled about Paypal Add Shipping After THey Log Into Paypal?

[printchic]

-Zen Cart: v1.3.9fp1
-Upgraded from Paypal Standard Pro to Paypal Express Checkout
(since paypal made recent change figured I would just do as suggested here and use paypal express checkout)

PROBLEM:

I got my first order with Paypal Express Checkout in place and the customer wrote a note that said;

wow , never seen shipping charge added after you go through paypal. this is
not cool

I did a test order to see what they meant. If I'm in the shopping Cart Contents pages I see 2 buttons

1.) A grey one that says "CHECKOUT"
2.) A Paypal button underneath it that says "CHECKOUT WITH PAYPAL"

(see attachment for 2 buttons i refer to)

I click the "CHECKOUT WITH PAYPAL" button and it immediately takes me to paypal and shows my price total $30.99 (no shipping is listed). I'm asked to click continue through another page (it still shows $30.99) then it gives me an button to click to VERIFY things. I click that and it takes me back to my store and displays several shipping options. I choose one and it on the next screen it shows me the full details of my order with shipping.

So I wrote the customer back letting them know I understood their concern but that the process they used to pay for the order was "EXPRESS CHECKOUT". It makes it faster for them to checkout but they have to login to (paypal) for to get their address info then it returns them to our store so it can apply shipping.

I even sent them a visual of our store page to let them know the difference in the 2 checkouts offered at our store (CHECKOUT BUTTON) that fills in the regular form or the (PAYPAL CHECKOUT BUTTON) and said it may help in the future when shopping at stores on the net to know the difference. (not just shopping at our store). Anyway... This is their reply;

Dear (my name removed for privacy).

I simply tried to buy an item
You ought to serve customer not educating them HOW TO BUY SOMETHING THE NEXT TIME

YOUR SYSTEM FAILED AND THAT IS WHY I WAS ASKED TO PAY $30 on paypal than had you add shipping after the paypal system completed its process

in short
Why don't you send this to your president as I sure will

xxxx (customer name here)

MY QUESTION:

- Can that paypal button be disabled so that it doesn't show and they have to go through my store first (like paypal standard works). As I can see this being a problem in the future with other customers.

I know that the person is being difficult on purpose in hopes I will give them a discount (NOT!!!)

I'm seriously considering after their smart reply to "REFUND" their money and not fill the order. The items is sold by me exclusively so they can't get it anywhere else. I can see them after getting the order complaining and trying to get a refund, saying something is wrong with the product, etc.

Signed,
Printchic