Thanks Doc.
FWIW, I've not been able to replicate the problem either.
Just for grins, I did add a little debugging output to the file, and even stepped through the syschecker.php line by line with a debug enabled, and can't find any fault - everything appears exactly as it should (correct paths, correct filename(s), expected responses - all good.
The only way(s) I've been able to replicate is by either removing the /.htaccess file or setting the Allowoverrides None for the vhost I was using.
I have to agree it looks like the problem is unique to the OP's server, but I've really no idea what it would be (that hasn't already been eliminated), so once again, I fresh out of ideas.
Sorry pixelpadre but it looks like you may be on your own on this one.
Cheers
RodG
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