You're probably right about me trying not to be so critical...I guess the steps are not quite specific enough for me to understand.

As far as doing step 1, I THOUGHT I did...but it never said which admin->settings to modify. Is it talking about making these changes to the LIVE admin of the site, or an admin file that came with this module's download?

As far as the "Zen Cart Install SQL Patch facility" I'm not sure I know what you're referring to. Zen Cart and osCommerce are two of the shopping cart options available inside of my hosts' cPanel. I just choose which one I want and click an install button and voila...I go to the url to log in to admin. Not sure what a SQL Patch facility is and I've never written tables or anything that makes up DB's.

Is this something I have to get a programmer to do? Cause if I'm oblivious to the very first step...there's a high chance I'm gonna fail this horribly!!! lol