I seem to have it working, I needed to have just tried to copy the design patterns already within the admin instead of forcing through 1 require.

basically shooting for /admin/my_script.php

then...
/admin/includes/classes/custom.php
/admin/includes/functions/maybe.php
/admin/includes/modules/kindaConfusedOnThisDir.php

...when I get closer maybe I'll put it on gitLab and share it for some suggestions.