What you're describing doesn't make sense, unless you're using the Offline Credit Card module, which does no real validation of payment because it does NOT actually process any credit cards in real time.
If you're using a real live payment gateway which does the transaction in real time, then a failed payment will cause the customer to be returned to the payment-options screen.
Furthermore, I don't understand what you mean by "I still receive the download instructions" or by "and link to the downloadable product". You'll need to clarify more specifically what you're saying in both of those parts.
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