NEW DAY NEW STORY FROM THE HOST
Today senior tech support said that the WHOLE problem is that the queries are looking for table rows that don't exist. Here his proof. He picked this query that was taking 1.5 seconds to return a response and said that because "unique row not found" that it sat there looking and looking for something in that table for 1.5 seconds.
I said BS, there should be no entry for item number 2054 because there is NO meta tag description for that item, nor any of the other 5600+ items in the database. I take that back, there are 4 items in the database that have custom metatag descriptions. does that mean that those 4 items should load quicker?
EXPLAIN SELECT pd.products_name, p.products_model, p.products_price_sorter, p.products_tax_class_id, p.metatags_title_status, p.metatags_products_name_status, p.metatags_model_status, p.products_id, p.metatags_price_status, p.metatags_title_tagline_status, pd.products_description, p.product_is_free, p.product_is_call, mtpd.metatags_title, mtpd.metatags_keywords, mtpd.metatags_description FROM ( zen_products p, zen_products_description pd
)
LEFT JOIN zen_meta_tags_products_description mtpd ON mtpd.products_id = p.products_id AND mtpd.language_id = '1'
WHERE p.products_id = '2054'
AND p.products_id = pd.products_id
AND pd.language_id = '1'
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id select_type table type possible_keys key key_len ref rows Extra
1 SIMPLE p const PRIMARY PRIMARY 4 const 1
1 SIMPLE pd const PRIMARY PRIMARY 8 const,const 1
1 SIMPLE mtpd const PRIMARY PRIMARY 8 const,const 0 unique row not foundGRRRRRRRRRR, I am getting crabby.