Google merchent/base feed time out issue

Okay i have over 40,000 products and i am trying to add them with google merchent feeder however it keeps timing out i tried to change the .htaccess and php.ini
max_execution_time 300
max_input_time 90
memory_limit 32M

my host does not give access to these files if you can think of a solution let me know

my host does not give access to these files
Most do not - - but many will allow a local copy with custom settings

If up to 40,000 and selling, you might be inline for your own server

haha i wish i was selling i am just starting out however i tried the .htaccess method however my host overrides it :-(

We have had our store online for past 2 years and with approx 3000 products, google shopping merchant feeder was working fine, until this week we uploaded more products to our site to take it to over 13000 products, when i clicked to create the feed, the pop up window was blank for a long time and then timed out with error 'oops sorry page cannot be located'
i tried clicking the upload button and only 2700 products were uploaded and live in google shopping, also with some errors.

It seems as iff the creating of feed is timing out, we are running on our own vps server, has anyone had this problem before or any advice?
thanks

i am runing into this issue also what did you do to correct it?