I don't want any shipping options

I don't want to calculate or display any shipping costs or options in the shopping cart, but rather advise them on the phone when processing their order.

How do I turn off shipping or do this? When there is no shipping enabled, the store will not collect shipping data (which IS needed) nor will it advance to the next step in the checkout process.

You might modify the text in the free shipping module to reflect your purpose. It would collect info but not add charges.

gjh42:

You might modify the text in the free shipping module to reflect your purpose. It would collect info but not add charges.

That actually sounds like a workable answer, but I do not know how to modify those files.

Also, I would want to be able to click off any screaming banners, etc. that say FREE SHIPPING!

All output text is defined in language files (to allow a site to display in multiple languages if desired). Go to the page you want to change and select a distinctive bit of text, then paste that in Tools > Developers Toolkit, in the top left box. Select Catalog files and search.
This will show you what file the text is defined in; then you can edit the file. You will probably find most of the related text in the same file.

This will get you started, though you will probably have other questions as you work.